Sunday, December 14, 2014

(19) Dead Like A River

Gwen's cell phone rang from somewhere at the house. At first we thought it was Moira's, who was seated on the rat with her forearms on the fuel tank, texting, until she called out to us.

Gwen hurried back across the clumps of weeds to the porch, the dogs galloping beside her. I stood rooted on the spot like a scarecrow, my mind a blank. Then as I started for the house I heard Gwen say in the doorway, her back to the porch, "No really I'd love to but I have a couple guests. One of Reb's friends is here with his...girl." I smiled at the pause in her voice. She patted the door frame. "Don't be crazy. My uncle likes you, it's just that you're Kenny to him in some ways. Wait--" She went on into the house but left the door open. The screen had been pushed open just far enough to stay that way, giving me a clear glimpse of the gypsy lamp shining brazenly between the two sofas. Gwen drifted into the kitchen, her voice, dulcet toned and chatty, merged with the buzz of the water-heater.

"Josie wants to go to Morgantown," Moira said, sitting up. "She'll take a Greyhound and meet us there, if it's okay with you. I've been telling her about the Lord of the Roads."

"Will she bring her dick with her?"

"I know you don't like her. She wants to be friends."

"I never said I didn't like him. It's a free country, he can go where he likes, as a Joe or a Josie."

I could see clearly enough that the subject of orientations didn't interest her at the moment. She got awkwardly down off the saddle. After fluffing her hair she said parentally, "I want a talk with you, William, in private. Let's go in the bedroom. I know who Gwen's talking to on the phone," she added, as an incentive. "She told me about him when we were making dinner."

So now I knew why her attitude had changed for the better. We went into the house, greeted by halfhearted barks, and passed the bathroom where Gwen was staring at herself in the mirror as she talked to the guy who reminded her uncle a little too much of Kenny.

The guest bedroom window faced the brick-laden camper but all I saw was my reflection as I grimaced, exerting energy to push up the sash and let in some air. Then I could see the moonlight on the camper shell and the debris that had fallen on it. I stared a minute at the bicycle.

Moira made the single-size bed squeak when she sat on it. She cleared her throat. "I think you should sleep with her. I really think you should. It would be best for both of us."

I peeled off my bandanna and tossed it onto one of the two pillows. "She's on the phone with a guy who would probably be better for her than I would be."

"It's her ex's older brother and she likes the attention and all, but he's not the one she wants. She didn't really want what's-his-name either. She wants you, William. She didn't tell me that, she was trying to make me feel better and to like her, so she kinda pretended to like her ex's brother. Don't fool me, I know you came here because you think you won't have me much longer and Gwen could...kinda take my place."

She was right, but I kept that to myself. "Why not just tell me what you would like to happen? If I know what you want I can help you get it."

She was quick to say: "It's what YOU want, not what I want. When I first saw you I thought you were about forty, but you're fifty-four and you can't be living like this forever, riding around all over the place with no home to go to." To which I replied: "I can't do this forever at any age. And stop talking like you're my mother."

She opened her mouth, her eyes narrowing, and said: "I want you to sleep with Gwen tonight. And if she wants to go with you, then take her. I'll catch a Greyhound like Josie plans to do, and meet her in Morgantown. It'll be the four of us. And then...you know, you'll find out who it is you really want."

I leaned back on the window sill, hands on my knees and shaking my head at Moira's idea. "So I fuck Gwen and scoot her to Top's haunted house so you can determine whether it's you or her I prefer. What do you want out of me anyways? Gwen would always be trying to settle me down somewhere, and I'm not ready to settle down."

"How do you know what she'll try to do? You don't know her any better than I do! Sleep with her and take her with you, then you'll know what she really wants."

I grunted at that. "Like I know what you want? Answer my question. What do you want out of me?"

And even as I asked her that she was falling over on her side, her cheek on my bandanna. She was silent for moment, considering, then with a reddening face she said: "That first night at the motel, after we did it, when you were looking at me, I could...kind of see my unborn babies in your eyes. I thought, I'm with a man, not with some boy who's being jerked around by his hormones."

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